Finally! The phone
was ringing! I was certain I now had a
new cousin. I was already wondering if
she would like the nursery my aunt and I had arranged together when I visited
that summer. Okay, maybe Aunt Karen did
most of the arranging, but I was there, and that had to count for something.
Anxiously, I hovered at the edge of the kitchen. I wanted to be close enough to hear my mom’s
side of the conversation, but not close enough to get sucked into washing the
cups and silverware that were collecting in the sink.
“Hello,” Mom answered.
“It’s a girl!” I imagined my uncle saying. I had become an expert on imagining the other
side of the conversation because Mom never deemed us worthy of all the
details. Or at least that’s what I
thought then. Now, I know Mom just
doesn’t always like to reiterate them all again, regardless of how old her
audience is.
“No, we don’t have too much going on at the moment,” Mom
said.
Wait. Shoot! No baby. I almost walked away, but what Mom
said sounded like there could be an invitation happening. An invitation to what? I wondered. A Halloween party?
“I’m alone with the kids, so I can’t leave right now,” Mom
said, “but Beth could. She could call us
when it’s time, and we could bring them both back here.”
Who was she talking
to? I wondered. Where was I going? I often ran to neighbors to pick up something
and then ran back home, but I never had to call
first. Was it too heavy to carry by
myself?
“I’ll see you shortly,” Mom said and hung up.
Great. I was
volunteered for something, as usual, without anybody asking me if I wanted to
do it. Typical. Mom hung up the phone and came to sit next to
me.
“Beth,” she started.
“I need you to do me a favor.
Grab your coat.”
I thumped down the stairs and grabbed a thick sweater. Mom looked like she wanted to argue, but
decided against it.
“The youth pastor and his wife have to go somewhere
suddenly, but Dallas (their two-year-old son) really wants to be a cowboy and
go trick-or-treating.” She paused in her
explanation and looked at me. “Don’t you
want a different coat?” she asked. Maybe
mothers just can’t help nagging.
I shook my head, and she continued, “We’ve agreed to take Dallas
with us, but he’s still napping and his Mom doesn’t want to wake him up. The youth pastor is going to pick you up and
take you over. You sit through his nap
and call us as soon as he wakes up.”
“Are you asking me to babysit?” I asked.
“Well, yes,” Mom answered.
“But only for an hour. You won’t
stay there long on your own. As soon as
he wakes up, you need to call us. We’ll come get you and bring you both here.”
“But a real babysitting job,” I said.
“Just an hour,” Mom repeated, as if I was getting a bad idea
in my head. “And call as soon as he wakes up.”
“I’m really babysitting!” I yelped.
“Call right away!” Mom said.
Finally.
Finally. Finally. Someone was going to call me a real
babysitter. I had been watching my
brother and sister for years now, but I’d never been thanked (or paid) for
it. I’d never actually had a real babysitting job. I was ready for some recognition for the work
I was putting in. It was Halloween 1987,
and as an eleven-year-old sixth grader at Adlai Stevenson Elementary School, I
felt ready to take on the challenge.
The pastor picked me up in his car and drove me back to his
family’s apartment. Dallas was asleep
upstairs. The pastor’s wife was grabbing
together all of the pieces to Dallas’s costume—a bag for treats, jeans, a
checked shirt with pearl snap buttons, a bolero, a brown cowboy hat, and a pair
of little boys’ cowboy boots that were just a little too big—and stuffing them
all into a plastic department store bag.
“Here’s everything Dallas needs for tonight,” she said,
shoving the bag into my hands. “The
number where we’ll be is on the refrigerator.
Thank your parents for me!” Of
course, I thought. Thank my
parents. I was still stuck on that
thought when she and the youth pastor flew out the door, and I was left alone
in a dark, cold, very quiet apartment.
I looked around. Sitting
down by myself in somebody else’s house didn’t feel right. I stood back up. I didn’t really want to turn the lights
on. That didn’t feel like something
strangers did in houses that weren’t their own.
Ten or fifteen minutes later, I walked upstairs and watched Dallas
sleep. He laid so still I had to creep up
really close and bend over before I noticed the comforting rise and fall of his
chest. Thank goodness! I thought with
relief. For one split second I had
imagined trying to explain that I had killed the baby on my first babysitting
job.
Dallas must have noticed the strange steps because moments
later he was up. Luckily for me, he just
smiled and stretched out his arms to be held, unfazed that his parents weren’t
around and that a kid he only knew slightly was left to look after him. Maybe all pastor’s kids are that way. After all, they are constantly passed between
congregants of any given church. He only
asked, “Up?”
So I lifted him up, perched him on my hip, and headed
downstairs to call home. Dallas chattered happily in my ear the whole way, “And
they wear boleros and cowboy boots.
Cowboy boots can do anything. You
can make a horse go fast with cowboy boots.”
I picked up the phone and dialed my home number.
“You can climb up mountains in cowboy boots.”
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Busy.
I hung up the phone and dialed again.
“You can kick bad guys with cowboy boots.”
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Still busy.
“Cowboys shoot guns,” Dallas added. “But they have to do it wearing cowboy
boots.”
After the fourth time dialing home and getting a busy
signal, I tried to put Dallas down, but he just tried to climb back up, saying,
“Cowboy boots are good at climbing.”
Come on, Mom, I silently begged. This kid is getting heavy.
Finally, half an hour later, I got through.
“YOU HAVE A COUSIN!” Mom screamed without saying hello.
“Really?” I shouted back, not so much out of excitement but
to be heard over the cowboy boot commentary.
“A little boy!
They’re going to call him Joe.”
“Great,” I said.
“We’re ready to come home.”
“Daddy will be right over.”
I grabbed Dallas’s bag of stuff, and Daddy showed me how to
lock the door on the knob without a key—but only after we’d checked and
double-checked that we had everything.
Weekend Halloweens are terrible because you have to wait all
day for trick-or-treating. You’re not
allowed to break into the candy early or get dressed at noon.
By the time, trick-or-treating was upon us my mom was ready
to make ghosts of us all. I can’t
remember exactly what I was—probably a princess of some sort—besides
angry.
“Put it on or stay home,” Mom said. “It’s supposed to snow.”
“But then you can’t see my costume!”
“You’re going to freeze.”
“What’s the point of dressing up if no one can tell who you
are?”
“Fine. You can hand
out candy.”
“I can’t! I have to
hold Dallas’s hand. After all, I’m
babysitting.”
Mom rolled her eyes.
“Then put the coat on,” she said.
I grudgingly slid my arms into my thick winter coat from the
year before. It still smelled musty
since Mom had only just pulled it out of the coat closet—pulled it out while I
was wearing the sweater she didn’t like babysitting. She always got the last word.
So we headed out:
Dad, my sister Lisa (9), my brother Jon (4), and Dallas. Usually for Halloween, we walked out the back
door and stopped first at the house behind it where an older lady lived with
her two daughters. The older woman was
always looking out of her window and calling my mom if anything seemed
amiss. She checked over our gardens,
commented on new plants, tattled on my sister and me, and even let the dogs
back into the yard when they wandered off.
Naturally, we should visit her house before our costumes fell apart and
we were whiny. Besides, they always had
good candy. After that, we usually
headed down one side of Catskill as far as the hill and then turned around and
came back the other side. We joined the
crowd of coated costumed kids. Batmen,
Supermen, Wonder Women, Mario Brothers, all were covered by coats. Only the Pac Men had escaped their mothers’
nagging, if only because the coats didn’t fit.
Then we walked down our short little block of Surfside between Catskill
and Rainier before crossing and walking back up Surfside on the other side
until the hill got steep enough that we began to whine. Then Dad would make us cross the street and
head back down toward home. This year,
though, I held Dallas’s hand most of the way and helped him up the stairs. I helped him slide back on his cowboy boots
again and again. It wasn’t bad at first,
but when it started to snow, the swirling flakes got in his boots. Then they melted, and Dallas’s wet feet got
cold. So we started home a little early
that year.
Truth be told, my legs had been cold since the neighbor’s
house on Catskill, and now they were red and itchy. But I would never admit that to my mother,
and if I wouldn’t have had to carry my coat myself, I would have taken it off
entirely.
I still remember that final walk back to the house. Tiny snowflakes circled around us. Dallas held my dad’s hand with one of his own
and mine with the other. His boots were
slipping, and his dark eyes were filled with tears brought on by the cold
wind. Once he fell. “You made me do that!” he cried to us. “Don’t let go of me! Cowboy boots aren’t so good on hills.”
Walking into the house from the front this time, we all
climbed up our steps, past my mom, who was handing out candy, and into the
living room. Dad made us separate and
dump our candy in front of us. Then Mom
closed the door downstairs, and the two of them began to examine each piece for
possible tampering. Mom was a nurse, so
she’d worked in a hospital and was aware of all the ways kids could be hurt
with candy. She scrutinized every seal
and flipped back flaps looking for needle holes.
Once everything passed the yearly inspection, we would be
allowed to eat it. At eleven, I thought
I should be allowed to examine my own candy, but Mom wasn’t buying that one
bit. She grabbed my candy and commenced
looking over every Necco Wafer, Milk Dud, and SweeTart. Occasionally she’d throw one off to the
side. I hoped she wouldn’t throw out too
many of the chocolate ones. I loved the
York Peppermint Patties and Three Musketeers.
They weren’t done going over everything when the youth
pastor rang the doorbell. Dad went down
to answer the door, and I grabbed Dallas and his candy while Mom found the
plastic bag that now held Dallas’s old clothes.
“Bye-bye!” I waved to Dallas as his dad hoisted him up. Dallas waved back, kicked one foot, and lost
a cowboy boot, which my dad quickly retrieved.
“Thanks, guys, for taking Dallas with you,” the youth pastor
said. “And thanks, Beth, for watching
him at our house.”
He had said them, the words I had waited so long to hear.
I don’t think I could even say, “You’re welcome.” I just nodded. I was too happy to simply be acknowledged.